qualities of touch

touch – memories of the present

When I was a teenager, I used to be part of a dance theatre group. We spent a quite intense time together – regarding the physical training, but also including the emotional aspects. Today, nights in old factories, where we trained dancing, many controversial performances, physical exhaustion and festivals all over Europe belong to my memory, especially to my physical one.  Five years after leaving the group I still consider myself being a person connected to my body, lucky to be raised in this creative environment, allowed to join a universe, which many people in our society might never discover – the universe of touch. 

This month, a participant of the theatre group randomly joined for a contact-improvisation jam, where I was also dancing. We haven’t met or seen each other for five years. 

I remember him entering the space. He had changed, grown, become more mature and stronger, still radiating out the same positive spirit, he always kept. We used to dance together in theatre times, but being with him after five years did not feel different at all. It didn’t take us more than one second to reconnect and dance together. We played like children, as we always did, including the aspects of two humans, who nevertheless grew up. I felt safe and protected, trusting this person without any hesitation. 

This is the reason, why I believe physical memories to last longer and clearer than verbal ones. In this moment of dancing, I realized that my friend has left invisible traces on my body during theatre times, like a stamp and instinctively I would react in a precise and accurate way. I am sure, that talking to this person wouldn’t have the same effect as dancing with him again. Our bodies had learned to trust each other years ago – there was no need to ask about today again.

This inspires me to think that touching has a greater impact on our physical memory – more than many of us would assume. 

And the other way around – we can influence people more by touching than by talking. 

But what is this thing called ‘touch’?

There are three things in life we constantly do without necessarily thinking about them: we breathe, our hearts beat and – we touch!

We breathe and touch the first day we are here on earth. But even though these aspects accompany us every day, we aren’t always aware of them.

some science beyond touching

My skin is 1,62 square meters large and the biggest organ in my body. It never stops working, which implies, that I am always touched.

What happens during touching? If a person touches me, sensory cells transform the stimulus into an electric signal, to be sent towards my medulla and from there – into my brain. There, a region we call the “thalamus” filters the information and forwards it towards an area called primary motor cortex, where signals can be analyzed.

Some of this information doesn’t need to be processed so far – reflexes. Imagine you touch something hot or have to react really fast; it would take too much time to send the signal to your brain, so the medulla itself deals with the signal and decides about the reaction.

This is just a short introduction into neuroscientific pathways – but it might help us to imagine how touch is flooding our body in every second of our life.

But touch can be more, than only physical touch.

environmental touch

The world we live in has a greater impact on us, than we might think. Imagine you are walking through a forest. The fresh air touches your face, while your feet have to conquer an unstable underground. The temperature changes if you leave a house and go outside. There are so many stimulus around us, we can’t control.  Nevertheless they have an impact on our perception, decisions we take and feelings we have. 

physical touch

When we touch someone we enter his intimate zone, we can sense the smell of this person, the temperature of the other body and many more impressions. Being so close to someone else prevents us from the possibilities of protecting ourselves. Our body might then trigger a “fight or flight” response. This might be one reason, why we don’t feel safe to touch strangers – but enjoy touching people we love.

Touch offers us a different, clearer option to communicate with each other. Words have to be interpreted and have a different meaning for each of us. On the other hand, the signals your body sends out are always honest. Imagine a situation in which you have to deal with fear. If someone asks you about how you feel, you might say “I am not afraid”, but your body would still send out the signals of a person who is afraid: shaking knees, stomach aches, pale face etc. Focusing the body signals might help us to receive a more precise image about a person’s intention.

emotional touch

I can be touched in many ways, also in mental ones. Watching an emotional movie can touch me, a love confession or just a situation I observe on the street. To be able to be touched is one of the greatest gifts we could receive, because it makes our life more colorful and creative. In contrast – some people who suffer from depression have trouble to experience these feelings caused by their outside world.

future perspectives//unintentional touch

Touch is one of the most important experiences of our life, for children it symbolizes the connection to their mothers and for lovers or friends it might create an intimate and private sphere. Regarding today’s society, touch however is a rare phenomenon to observe. We excuse us, when we accidentally touch strangers, for most people only two ways of touching exists: shake hands or have sex. Many are unaware of the options in between such as hugging or stroking. Studies found out, that there are correlations between psychological problems and people’s missing physical communication.

Another aspect is: many people learned to touch in order to receive a physical answer not because they enjoy the process of touching itself. Unintentional touch is the way of touching we grew up with and feel safe about. As we grow up, we learn to judge touching as sexual or unappropriated, which creates unhealthy borders for those who are touched and those who touch.

I hope that this idea of reinventing unintentional touch might spread. It is not abnormal to cuddle with friends, hug a colleague or hold someone’s hand. For us, touch offers the possibility to enjoy a communication, not only dedicated to our brains, but being processed by our entire body.  

more: Trautmann-Voigt, S., & Voigt, B. (Eds.). (2012). Grammatik der Körpersprache: ein integratives Lehr-und Arbeitsbuch zum Embodiment; mit 18 Tabellen. Schattauer Verlag. (p.107ff)